


like stars written on our skin

by Kandakicksass



Category: Phandom, Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF), youtube - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Author doesn't know what the hell she's doing, Fluff, M/M, Soulmate-Identifying Marks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-17
Updated: 2015-02-17
Packaged: 2018-03-13 12:34:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3381698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kandakicksass/pseuds/Kandakicksass
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Soulmate AU where soulmarks appear a letter at a time, and almost everything else is the same. Dan chooses not to look at his mark after the first letter appears, because if his P doesn't continue with H-I-L, he doesn't want to know about it. He doesn't, after all, need a soulmark to tell him how important Phil is to him.</p><p>In other words, almost 2k of fluff and Dan's endless and unconditional love of Phil.</p>
            </blockquote>





	like stars written on our skin

**Author's Note:**

> I've been consuming soulmate AUs like crazy lately. I've also been rewatching a lot of philisnotonfire videos. This mess happened as a result.

Dan had been an avid watcher of Phil Lester’s videos for months – so much so that he’d been stalking him on every social media site he could get his hands on. At first, he hadn’t realized how deep his casual interest had gone, but weeks later he was typing out replies to Phil’s tweets seconds after he’d received the notification for them, and he knows now that it had all gone south the moment he'd clicked on the name _amazingphil_.

But, Philreplied to him. It was stupid to get excited about, but _Phil Lester_ replied to him. It's not like Phil’s a celebrity; he’s just a youtuber - just cute, funny, and in Dan’s humble opinion kind of perfect – but he’s _just_ a man on the internet that Dan hadn't known. Except that now he does know him, quite well, and he's still just as crazy about him as he had been the day he'd watched his first amazingphil video.

Dan’s just turned seventeen, and he’s (kind of mostly platonically, probably) in love. Which is why it’s hard not to get his hopes up on his birthday – after a few weeks of tweeting each other  and the occasional Skype call – when the first letter he gets of his soulmate’s name is a _P_ , handwriting a little scratchy, just below his left pec.

 _P for Phil_ , _P for Phil Lester, P for please_.

And it’s ridiculous, a little like the girls in his class who get a C on _their_ seventeenth birthdays and pray that it continues into _Channing Tatum_ , but he’s not good at denying his brain daydreams of things he really wants, so he continues to think about it sometimes, during Skype sessions, when they become facebook friends, when they know each other’s phone numbers and favorite foods and favorite seasons of Buffy.

He also knows that Phil is older than seventeen, has been for a few years, and he would have said something if he had _Daniel_ written on his person somewhere, maybe even the beginning letters of his last name, even though soulmarks only progressed past the first name if the soulmates had met. Which, they hadn’t, officially.

They are planning it though, and that alone is why Dan tries valiantly not to get his hopes up. He likes Phil a lot, and he doesn’t want to make it weird or awkward with the ‘hey, what if you were my soulmate’ conversation that seems to end a lot of friendships. People who become friends with someone just because of the first half of their soulmarks often have really awkward fights a few weeks later from what Dan’s seen, even if they usually manage to get over it and become friends again after the strangeness has passed.

Either way, that’s not what he wants to happen to him and Phil. Phil would have said _something_ , if he’d suspected it. Phil’s not the best liar in the world, especially when it’s something that really matters, so Dan keeps his mouth shut because Phil his best friend is much more important than Phil who may be his soulmate.  

Dan, who would probably choose Phil over any hypothetical soulmate anyway, made the decision not to look at it. He hasn’t in weeks, not since he noticed the P and spent several hours sitting in shock, trying not to hope. He probably has new letters, but he doesn’t really want to know what they are if they don’t spell out _Phil_ , and he doesn’t want to make things weird if they do. So, he just doesn’t look.

He doesn’t look, and Phil never says a word, and then suddenly he’s getting off a train and his hands are shaking slightly and he’s wondering if seeing him in person will make Phil realize what a dork he is, and how quickly he should run away.

Seeing him in person actually makes Phil light up like the sun, and Dan drops his insecurities at the sight of him and flings his arms around Phil’s neck just as Phil’s arms wrap around his waist. There’s a couple soft titters from behind them, gentle laughter, but Dan doesn’t care much about his audience right now.

“Hello, Dan Howell,” Phil says happily in his ear, and Dan squeezes harder before finally letting go, grinning and dimpling at him and trying not to blush.

“Hi, Phil Lester,” he parrots back, and Phil doesn’t just shine like the sun; he is the sun. He’s Dan’s sun, soulmate or not.

And Phil takes him to lunch, because he’s a gentleman, and he kicks at Dan’s feet lightly under the table. They have a lovely time, and Dan is still smiling when Phil takes him to his house, excitedly gesturing toward just about everything on the way there. He makes them take a detour to walk past Phil’s favorite coffee shop, then once they get to his house, Phil drags him around and points out everything, just for the sake of sharing. Eventually, they run out of things to do, and settle in on Phil’s bed to watch Buffy, which is surprisingly wonderful. Dan chooses not to question how incredible the simplest things are when he does them with Phil.

Just before bed, Phil goes to the bathroom, and doesn’t come out for ten minutes. When Dan calls out to him, he just says “I’ll only be a minute” and when he comes out he’s grinning from ear to ear but doesn’t otherwise explain. Dan rolls his eyes and calls him weird for being so pleased about a wee, but Phil doesn’t elaborate and Dan doesn’t ask. Phil climbs back into the bed and knocks shoulders with him, so they continue watching Buffy and grinning and sharing stupid jokes, because, well, Dan’s a little in love with him and Phil likes him too, even if it’s just as best mates.

Things continue on that vein for months, into a year, until Dan starts talking about moving to Manchester for school, and Phil is close by and they do videos together and spend most of their free time together. They really are best friends – Phil is the one Dan talks to when he’s pressing through panic and existential crises and law school, and Dan is the one Phil goes to when he’s feeling low or too happy, or anything really, because Phil feels a lot more openly than Dan does, who tends to keep things locked in.

They work, and Dan pays no mind to his soulmark, even though he knows it’s gained letters. He hasn’t paid enough attention to know whether some of those letters are a last name, and he doesn’t plan on it. Sometimes, though, when no one’s around, he write’s Phil’s name on his upper arm, where it can be hidden by a t-shirt. He’ll write it in different ways and fonts, with smile faces and hearts and he’ll guard it like his best kept secret. No matter what his soul mark says, and he assumes that it doesn’t say what he wants it to, he’ll make his own. If it comes down to it, he’ll tattoo it on himself, he swears he will. Some people do that. If their soulmate is dead, or if for some reason they don’t get a mark, they’ll find someone else and make them their soulmate through sheer force of will. So it’s not cosmic fate – who cares? They love just as deeply, and so will Dan, if Phil will give him the chance.

Dan lets himself keep thinking this until he’s Skyping with Phil while studying for a test (all his attention is on Phil, but Phil doesn’t need to know that, especially since he’s been Dan’s primary cheerleader about passing his classes lately), and Phil says, “I got the last letters of my soulmark, you know. All complete now.”

It’s not something they’ve ever talked about, and Dan feels like he’s been shattered. He tries to hide it, but his face isn’t good at fooling Phil, apparently, and of course he notices.

“Dan, what’s –“

“Nothing,” he says quickly, and hunches over a little bit, pressing a hand firmly over his abdomen, over the words he wanted so badly to be _Phil Lester_. “Who is it then? You haven’t told me about meeting any pretty girls,” he continues as teasingly as he can. A quick glance at his own face on the screen tells him he just looks pained.

Phil looks confused. “What are you talking about? Dan –“ He pauses, and cocks his head to the side. “No, really, what are you talking about?”

And now Dan’s confused as well. “Your soulmark? If you got the last letters, I assume –“

Phil cuts him off, his eyes narrowed. “What about yours, then? Have you got the last letters of yours?”

Dan bites his lip and shrugs. “Don’t see why that’s relevant.”

“ _Dan_.”

He sighs. “I haven’t looked at it, okay? Not in over a year. I don’t see why it’s a big deal.” Phil is visibly startled, and then visibly exasperated.

“Go look at your soulmark, you twit,” Phil tells him, rolling his eyes, and ends their call.

Normally, had it been anyone else, he would have told them to fuck off, but it was _Phil_. Phil who probably had a reason, that was making his chest clench and his stomach turn queasy. He slides off his bed to stand, and with shaking hands lifts his shirt, then his perpetual undershirt – the one he only ever changes in the dark.

There, upside down, he traces the letters with shaking fingers.

He grabs his phone.

_what does your soulmark say?_

He pauses and waits impatiently, drumming his fingers against his knee.

_d-a-n-i-e-l-h-o-w-e-l-l. u twit._

He calls Phil back on Skype, and when Phil’s face pops up, he looks like he’s been schooling his face into a special state of neutrality, looking decidedly unimpressed. “You never said,” Dan chokes. “So I thought – I didn’t –“

Phil softens, and reaches up to touch his face on the screen. Dan likes to pretend he can feel it. “ _You_ never said. I thought you knew, that we just weren’t talking about it. I never thought you didn’t _know_.”

“I didn’t want to ruin things if it wasn’t you,” Dan tells him, completely honest and fighting tears and wishing that Phil was actually there. “And when it was just – just the P – I didn’t want to make things weird if it wasn’t you. I just wanted to be around you, is all, so I thought, I didn’t need the soulmark to make you important to me. I didn’t want to get my hopes up.”

Phil is smiling at him, warmly and gently and just as much Dan’s sun as he’s been since day one. “What does your soulmark say, Dan Howell?”

He bows his head and chokes out, “Phil Lester. It says _Philip Lester_.”

“I knew the moment I met you that the _Daniel_ on my arm would be you. Honestly, Dan, the H of your last name showed up the night you took the train to stay with me, when we met for the first time. That quickly! The L of mine probably showed up on you, too, but you’re too stubborn, so we’ll never know, I guess.”

“I’m sorry,” he says quietly, almost too quietly for the mic to pick up, but Phil hears it.

“I’m not mad,” he answers, grinning at him just as fondly as ever. “But I reserve the right to kiss you when I see you next. Weren’t we planning something this upcoming weekend?”

Dan raises his head, blushing brilliantly and genuinely happy. “Yeah, we were.”

Phil grins at him, and yeah, Dan’s completely in love with him. Phil was born for him, and he was born for Phil, and no, soulmarks aren’t everything. Phil was Dan’s everything before he knew what his soulmark said.

It just so happens that fate agrees with him.

 


End file.
